As I lifted my 2-year-old out of her cot to embark on the school run and she nuzzled sleepily into my neck, I held her firmly and asked myself ‘what would I do without my kids?’

When she greets me with an enthusiastic ‘mummy’ or smiles at me and laughs at the things I do that nobody else deems funny.

When I share stories with my girls and the 2 little ones curl up, one under each arm.

When I watch my eldest growing up into a wonderful young lady with a mind of her own, a caring nature and an amazing bond with her dad.

When I’m having a rest and my 4-year-old says ‘I’ll close the door mummy so no-one disturbs you’.

When I say to my 2-year-old ‘it’s time for nap now’ and she replies ‘ok mummy’

Each time I watch them growing into bright, funny, confident, beautiful girls I am proud and thankful. At those times what would I do without them?

On the other hand

When I’m rushing to get out the door and my 2-year-old decides she must put on her shoes herself.

When orders are being barked from all directions at the breakfast table but I haven’t yet even managed my first cup of coffee.

When I’m struggling around the supermarket with my 4-year-old clinging to the side of the trolley, blocking up the aisles and my 2-year-old crying because she can’t have a chocolate bar.

When my 4-year-old wets herself for the 4th time that day .

When all hell breaks loose in the car because my 8-year-old wants to sing along to ‘Don’t Like Mondays’ but my 4-year-old wants to be the only one who is allowed to sing.

When the chaos of mess and noise is just too much….  I  ask myself again, ‘What would I do without my kids?’

• I’d travel and write.
• I’d go running with my husband and meet him for lunch
• I’d have a social life after 6pm
• I’d get involved in theatre again and be able to rehearse 3 times a week.
• I’d never be seen in McDonalds drinking coffee with my jumper inside out and a friend who didn’t even notice.

But…..

What would I really do without my kids?

Some days I’d struggle to get out of bed or venture out of the house and I’d cry every time I saw a family enjoying themselves.

They’ve pulled me through the toughest times, giving me purpose, hope and unconditional love.

Without them life would be grey.

I’d never be without them.