I’m new to listography – often having perused other bloggers’ offerings but never adding my own. This weeks topic however struck a chord with me. I’m going through a big period of change at the moment and feel that I have had to re-evaluate every aspect of my life. Couple that with turning 40 and I’m considering who and what I want to be in the next 10 years. I therefore thought this exercise might be therapeutic and serve as a focus for my journey to a new me.
Having read Kate’s list I was a little unnerved to find that her list could so easily have been written by me. So here’s mine – the same but different…
1. To Be More Demonstrative – The comment Kate made about the feeling of discomfort when a close family member hugs you resonated with me. I think I’m pretty good at giving and receiving hugs and telling my nearest and nearest I love them. However, I would like to be more verbally demonstrative. I have always felt awkward when people do or say nice things not knowing quite how to react. When a person close to me has done something that I’m really proud of I understate my admiration because it feels uncomfortable to greet them with a flourish. I don’t know how to react when people give me amazing presents so often don’t show how much it means to me. I’d like to be more able to speak my mind.
2. To Be More Confident – I suppose this is quite a big one – ‘more confident at what?’ I hear you say. To have more confidence in my own ability and not to feel that other people are better/have more to offer than I have, which I think holds me back in lots of areas . To have more confidence in talking to new people, expressing my thoughts and putting myself forward.
3. To Be Tidy and Organised – I hate clutter and would love to have a beautifully clean and organised house and garden but however much I tidy it never seems to make a difference. I try to be organised but still end up losing things, getting out of the door late and forgetting things.
4.To Be More Exciting – I see myself as a fairly ordinary boring person. I’d like people to look at me and say ‘Wow you do that?’. I think I’m interesting but my life is not, maybe I just want to be Superwoman.
5. To Be Able to Ask for Help – I often have friends and neighbours who say ‘If you ever need any help just ask’. They probably hear my usual stressed tones in the mornings as I struggle to get 3 kids out of the house and stop the dogs from barking at all and sundry. There are few people who I go to for help, I think I feel that I am putting on people if I ask them for things, or maybe it is just that I think I should be able to do everything by myself – quest for superwoman again.
So there you go – a few things to work on…. One step at a time.