The Bitter Sweet of Mother’s Day

Most Mums wake up on Mother’s day looking forward to a day with their family, being spoiled and looked after.  The Facebook status of my friends who have children has been full of Happy Mother’s Day wishes and talk of what a great day they have had.  I struggle with what I should feel about Mother’s Day.  Since losing my own mother ‘Happy Mother’s Day ‘ somehow doesn’t seem quite appropriate – yet I do want to celebrate with my own children.

I lost my own mum 10 years ago at the tender age of 54 – she never had the chance to meet my girls, and she had so desperately looked forward to being a grandmother.  Mother’s Day is the day when I remember her most , thinking about what a fantastic mum she was and all the things we shared that I still miss.  I am sad that my children will never know her and that the support and encouragement she would have given me when I became a mum is missing.

To  a certain degree today has been a happy day.  This morning I had the pleasure of being brought breakfast in bed by my 6 year old, along with a small bunch of flowers from the garden, a handmade card and some ‘helping vouchers. 

I like to visit mum’s grave in South Wales on Mother’s Day.  It is always strange doing this with the children.   My 6 year old is beginning to understand who ‘Nanny Wendy’ is and why we go to lay flowers and remember her. It is difficult for my 2 year old to understand, ‘Who is Nanny Wendy?’ and ‘Where is Nanny Wendy?’ she asks.

So Mother’s Day for me is a strange day – I look forward to it and dread it, I celebrate the many joys of being a mum but it is always tinged with sadness and loss. I think it’s the ‘Happy’ Mother’s Day that I struggle with most – it seems somehow inappropriate to be happy on a day of remembrance.  So for all those who have lost their mum’s I’ll say a more fitting ‘Best Wishes’ for Mother’s Day.

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3 thoughts on “The Bitter Sweet of Mother’s Day”

  1. It is six years since my own mother died – she was 55 years old. It doesn’t get any easier, especially as she died on my middle son’s birthday. I go to the cemetery when I feel the time is right. This weekend I went on Saturday just because I knew that I have to make Mother’s Day about my children and grandchildren now but that’s what feels comfortable for me.

    My mum never met my grandchildren but they both know who she is. Well, the oldest one does (she’s 2). She looks at pictures of her and says “Pam-ma” (because she can’t say “grandma” yet – and I’m known as “Nana”.

    You have to do what is right for you and don’t ever feel as though you have to justify it. Take care x

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    1. Thanks Nicky for your kind words.
      I’m sure that as the girls get older visiting mum’s grave on the Saturday will be a better option, for now it still feels right to be there on Mother’s day.
      Rachel

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